I am such a Loser!

I don’t even want to look at the date of my last post. I am a blogging failure! Secret: I wanted so desperately to keep up with the minimum of a posting a week for 3 consecutive months so I could potentially be featured at blogher.com

Where have I been you may be thinking? Or, you may not care. Have I no loyalty to you all, my readership? Is readership a word?

I know it’s been a good two months. I have missed you blinking cursor! Shame on me!

You know how you intend to do something and a certain amount of time passes and you don’t accomplish it and you keep putting it off because when you do think about it it makes you feel yuck that you haven’t done it? I did that once (or maybe twice or more). I actually packed a cover for a blow up mattress into our moving shipment from Sicily that belonged to a friend who graciously provided me and Michael with a bed when we had none in transition. “Send me your address! I’ll send it back ASAP! So sorry it was packed in the big shipment!”

It sat in my closet for 2 years before I finally threw it away.

Ok, enough of the guilt trip. I carry enough guilt for probably, um, all of North America as a Mommy. Let’s not add to it.

In my absence my husband made it back from a month long stint to a not so fun faraway place. Wonderful family has visited, including my cousin, his wife (my secret sister), and their three children. My mom came and spent a fly by week with me and a short two weeks after that he was home. My in laws came for a fun visit. All these visits were a surprise to Michael who probably expects someone famous to stop by soon…..Michael started his soccer season and has scored multiple goals every game (Yay! This was with me coaching the first 2 weeks of the season since my husband was not available).

I also lost some weight. A significant amount. On purpose. With Shaun T from the Insanity workouts. And some healthful eating. I completed the “Insanity Challenge” and am smaller now then I was in high school. My arms look amazing. Though, the jiggle is still there, you know the one your peripheral vision never fails to catch while waving to someone with a sleeveless shirt on? I figured out if you wave slowly, like a princess wave, it doesn’t jiggle as much. I went down 6 clothing sizes. I love to run again. Am I bragging? Yep. But I won’t mention it again.

Except to say that it is a huge element in healthy thinking and mental well-being (duh).

Most recently and probably the most difficult was the privilege of sharing my journey through and out of postpartum OCD with my MOPS mommas. Twice. (Two separate groups….unfortunately my delivery was not so great the second time around….) I tried to be like a speaker who spoke to us during the year about parenting and raising three boys. So calm. So clearly well-spoken and purposeful. Stood next to but not behind the podium. Captured my attention. Elegant and graceful. Yeah, you know who you are, K. (My writing muse, whom I aspire to be anything like).

Not me.Ā  No…. I bop up there and spoke for 40 minutes the first time (whoa….) and packed a lot into it. I tripped over the podium, in both sharing times, I think. When I stood away from the podium I lost all ability to control my arms and hands. I am not quite sure what I did with them. I could have been picking my nose….

But God’s grace was shown and He used me to reach mommas who needed to hear a scary story to know that you know what happens and He is the Only One who can pull you out of it and make you better for it.

Noooo…Sammy is rolling around in his crib….don’t wake up….I am going to sign off now, and sit in my mother’s day gift, my fabulous anti-gravity chair that is on our deck and watch the sunrise. Pray he gives me 30 (60?) good minutes.

Glad to be back. šŸ™‚


3 thoughts on “I am such a Loser!

  1. I’m glad to have you back, and please don’t feel guilty about being away for a period of time. It’s called “life”, raising children, juggling, etc. etc. I admire you.

  2. haha picking your nose, maybe šŸ™‚ I totally get it because I get like that anytime I have to speak in front of people! That is so awesome that you were able to share your story!!

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